Purity

Hari Kamis kemaren, temen selab, tepatnya tetangga seruangan [TS] ... nanyain tentang hukumnya jabat tangan antara wanita muslim dan laki-laki lain.

TS: Rachma, how strict it is for you to shake hand with other man?
me: . Basically, I'm not allowed to shake hand with other man, who is not my mahram.
TS: what is mahram?
me: Ngg... let's say muhrim, it's more common. Muhrim comes from the word haram, the opposite of halal, and it relates to marriage. Muhrim is someone you cannot marry with.
TS: so you are allowed to shake hand with a man because he cannot marry you??? strange logic.
me: , well ya, you can say so. I'm not allowed to shake hand with non-muhrim.
TS: Why are you not allowed to shake hand with your nonmuhrim? for example, can you shake hand with me?
me: No.
TS: why not?
me: because you're not my muhrim... [that's not an answer though ]
TS: But I already did it. I shook hand with your friends. So, how strict is that in your religion?
me: Ngg, basically it's not allowed. For example, me, if I can avoid shaking hand with non muhrim, I will not shake my hand. But, in some cases, that it will be considered impolite if I don't shake my hand, I will shake my hand.
TS: So, if I say "Rachma, it's not impolite if you don't shake hand with me. so let's shake hands"...
me: Nooooo, I will not shake my hand with you
TS: I can understand why you are not allowed to shake hand with nonmuhrim. Cause may be it will make you 'non-pure'. Sorry I couldn't find other phrase to describe that. It's understandable, really.
me: Well, yea.
TS: you know, I found some nice things about your religion. Like you said that you pray first before deciding to get married. But you can actually choose whom you want to get married with, right?
me: yes
TS: and what if I come to your father, don't worry I already have a girl friend , and say I want to marry you. Will your father give a permission?
me: No
TS: why not? is it because of the religion?
me: yes, you have to be a muslim to marry a muslim woman
TS: so if then I'm muslim, and let's say for a couple of months I come again to your father. Now, I will have permission to marry you?
me: Well, being muslim is pre-requisite to get married.
TS: so, I have to be muslim, your nonmuhrim to be able to marry you. Then, who is your muhrim?
me: Ngg...
The closest muhrim of me is my father. Well, you can say that muhrim is a representative of muslim woman when she get married
TS: A representative??? why do you need a representative?
me: . It's common when a muslim woman gets married, there should be a representative of her, of her family.
TS: Can your mom be your representative?
me: No. It can be my uncle... my..
TS: so it should be a man?
me: yes. And in marriage, actually you can marry your cousin [dunno why I mentioned this case... ]
TS: what??? are you crazy??? you know that based on genetic, it's not good, huh? it's too close. There can be some disorders and so on
me: ya, but in principal you can marry your cousin.
TS: that's crazy. You know, in Holland, that's not allowed, that's haram.
me:
TS: ya, I used your word. Marrying your cousin is haram. Some people do that, but basically that's not allowed. So some people change their family name to cover that. But it's haram, you know.
me:
TS: yeah, maybe you consider that's a usual one, but for me that's strange. I mean I like some things of your religion, it teaches a lot of nice things. But some are bad, at least that's what I think.
me: [what can I say...].
TS: so, in order to marry a muslim woman, I have to be a muslim. You are not allowed to marry a nonmuslim man
me: yes, but actually, a man is allowed to marry a woman, although if she is not a muslim. We call her 'ahli kitab'
TS: what? why??? why a man is allowed to marry... what did you say? ahli kitab?
me: yes... ahli kitab is a non muslim woman, who... nggg... [gimana sih nerangin istilah ahli kitab secara pas?]
TS: but she is a non muslim?
me: yes
TS: then why? why woman is not allowed to marry nonmuslim man, but man can marry ahli kitab
me: Nggg.... ... form psychology, man has more... ngg... more..
TS: more what?
me: I'm sorry, I call that pengaruh in Indonesia. Nggg.... 'effect'. Man can give more effects to...
TS: what??? so it's all about charisma??? I don't understand this. So man is allowed because he can affect his wife to be a muslim?
me: ya.... [mesti gimana lagi sih neranginnya?]
TS: But woman also has charisma, you know. You must be agree that woman can also make his husband become a muslim, if that's the case.
me: well... mmm... but that's the rule. [what should I say more??]
TS: I'm going to lunch. I'm leaving not because I'm mad, I'm just hungry.
me: well, that's okay with me.
TS: and you are fasting today, right?
me: yes
TS: and that is a choice?
me: yes
TS: Well, that's nice. It's also nice to have a neighbor like you.
me: Well, we can discuss. and if you have any questions, you can ask
TS: ya ya, sure.

Yak, that's it. And FYI, dia seorang yang tidak mempercayai adanya Tuhan. Yah, mudah-mudahan Allah memberi hidayah padanya.Sering sekali berdiskusi tentang Islam dengan tetangga yang satu itu, seringkali bingung nyari penjelasan yang tepat. Kadang dia bertanya tentang kewajiban pake jilbab, kadang tentang qur'an, kadang tentang sholat, betapa seringnya dia nanya tiba-tiba, dan hobi banget bertanya why and why .


Senang sekali kalo dah week end -walo besok udah senin lagi -, bisa nyantai-nyantai. Kemaren juga seneng banget denger suara temen Rachma, so familiar, hommy. Haha, jadi obat di sela rutinitas. Belum lagi topik klise yang sering berulang, yang kadang bikin Rachma mesti narik nafas panjang-panjang buat ngontrol emosi . Jadi ketika ada suara gak asing menyapa ramah, jadi kerasa nyaman, damai tentram, kertaraharja, heheheh. Curhat . Seneng ketika bisa sharing terus dapet feed back dan cerita seru, pleus nasihat. Tak lupa dikasi semangat dan dihibur biar gak sedih. Yokatta ne. As you have been being a very good friend for me, I can be the best friend ever for you.

But it's still frozen after all
Dunno how long it will take,
I don't want to demand anything
nor keeping you standby
your wing is such spreading
you are free as stated
that you can get a very good sky to fly between
as you can reach the high clouds over
we'll be there in time
we'll meet somehow
we'll see how the future might be


as we softly know each other
as the time will be the true observer
as I feel, I pray, I think, I consider
you might be tired in time
wish I can give a true support
but sadly I have no energy for that
you might need to be very patient
which sadly I do nothing for that
you might need to reconsider everything
your time, your time, your time
your own heart
sadly, deeply,
I even might need someone to navigate my own life this time
truly,
it's still frozen
unmoved yet
as you softly keep asking,
regularly approaching,
leaving a very nice footprint,
the key...
is in your hand already
too bad if you don't realize that

~ Kaligrafi, bagaimana pun desainnya, jika yang tertulis begitu familiar, tentu saja Rachma bisa membacanya ~

I Knew I Loved You

Nemu lagu ini pas kemaren browsing youtube. Lagu ini terkesan baru, dan kayanya emang lagu terbarunya Celine [padahal ni lagu dah ada sejak tahun kemaren, heheheh]

Lagunya cenderung datar, dalam artian tidak ada nada-nada tinggi. Tapi... lagu ini sangat catchy, yeah... at least itulah yang Rachma rasain saat menyimak lirik yang dilantunkan. Rachma embedkan youtubenya di sini .

I knew I loved you
Before I knew you
The hands of time
Would lead me to you

An evening star
Was from afar
It guided me here
It knew you'd be here

Now wrapped in moonlight
At last together
Here in the incandescent glow
We are all we need to know
As we softly please each other
'Til the stars and shadow glow
And we sleep
With our dreams around us.

Oooohhhh ahhhhhh
Ooohhhhohhhh

It guided me
It knew you'd be here

I knew I loved you
Before I found you
I knew I'd built my world around you
Now all my days
And all my nights
And my tomorrows
Will all begin
And end
With you...
With you...

Rachma suka liriknya . Jadi pengen cepet-cepet week-end, heheheh, padahal baru malem Kamis .

[[--Ano ne, anata no yakusoku wa ... omosiroi desu. Au no wo tanoshimi ni shiteimasu. Hontou desu --]]

Mekbuk R

Ketika buka email tertanggal 16 januari 2007... Tiba-tiba.. jreng-jreng, muncul gambar sebuah laptop

Macbook air

dimulai dari berkunjung ke site Apple, dan terbentang harga 1700 dollar....
mahaLLLL. Padahal pengen punya macbook


Dulu, pertama kali ngelirik apple adalah karena munculnya iPhone.
Awalnya, gak tertarik juga ma iPhone, soalnya bentuknya gede, mahal, dah gitu masih two years contract cellular pulak. Waktu itu lagi khusyu-khusyunya hunting produk SE .
Bagaimana pun lucunya produk-produk Apple, pastiii aja selalu terbentur harga: MahaaaaL


Magnet Apple semakin berjaya ketika tahun lalu nonton keynote Macworld dan melihat fitur Leopard...
Yadda... OS yang sangat charming...
*baru bisa kagum aja tapi *

Dalam hati udah mulai pengen nabung buat beli Macbook item, yang di sisi lain kadang masih lirik-lirik sony vaio [apalagi yang warna pink ituuuuuu.... pengen ... ]

Dan sekarang terdistract sama Macbook Air.

Mungkin kalo ada uang dingin di tangan, gak akan terdistraksi segitunya , tinggal pesen dan minta diskon akademik. But wait!!! prinsip ekonomi kembali bermunculan di kepala...


Berhubung apple itu memiliki komunitasnya tersendiri, maka tuh harga-harga apple dari mulai muncul ampe muncul lagi produk baru, harganya segitu-gitu aja [jadi kalo di Indo, berharaplah harga dollar turun seturun-turunnya ]
Tapi yang lebih aneh lagi, konversi harga produk Apple tidak berdasar kurs. Semisal harga macbook item 1300 dollar di Amrik sono, maka di Belanda sini harganya jadi 1300 euro.
Yay, nu teu robih teh angkana hungkul, pami dikonversi ke rupiah mah janten tebih pisan ateuuuuh.
Apalagi minggu kemaren harga 1 euro mencapai 14 ribu rupiah ....
[Rachma masang widget kurs euro-rupiah di laptop, jadi tau fluktuasi hariannya ]

Demi memuaskan rasa penasaran di hati, jadilah surfing review Macbook air [belum ada, orang baru launch minggu kemarin, pemesan pertama pun baru dapet dua minggu setelahnya ]. Tapi dengan senang hati menonton keynote sang CEO Apple ampe tuntas, walo mesti nginstal quicktime terbaru yang ternyata sekarang dipackage bundle ma iTunes. Sebenernya kalo liat dia tuh, kaya liat salah satu Prof di grup polimer, mirip pisan hayo penampakannya .

Ada yang menyayangkan tidak adanya drive CD/DVD di macbook air. Yeah, lagian ini mah laptopnya dirancang buat mobile kali...
kalo ngeburn mah pake kompie yang diem ajah, hehehe. Rachma embedkan video youtubenya...



pas liat tuh Macbook keluar dari amplop...

Hold your breath, such an outstanding knowledge that is.

Yang kadang terlintas, kalo CEO Apple... ato para engineer Apple itu muslim.... huwaaaaa, habislah dibandingkan dengan Rachma

[ibadah masih perlu banget ditingkatkan, ilmu masih dikiiiit, masih belum real ngasi kontribusi ke masyarakat...]

A moment, please....

Hal paling menjengkelkan sedunia adalah ketika gak tau mu ngapain...


Dan hal paling menyenangkan tentunya adalah ketika tau mau ngapain...
hehehehe

Jadi, ketika lima bulan yang lalu, dengan senang hati pulang ke Indo untuk melepas kangen [yang padahal cuman 6 bulan nyangkut di sini]....
diwarnai dengan persiapan sidang, report sekaligus tesis, dan tak lupa ... insiden patah hati

cukup untuk segera berikrar...
pengen buru-buru ke Hollaaaaaand, biar lupa semuah!!!!
Mending pas lagi nyiapin kelulusan, ada kerjaan... nah, pas dari udah lulus [officially akhir oktober... tanggal sabaraha nya kemaren wisuda tuh, lupa , heuheu...] ampe menjelang pergi...
dooooh, eta mah bosen pisaaaan di rumah na ge. PISAN

Terutama untuk mengalihkan perhatian, ngabeberah manah. Ck... ck... pemalesan banget lah pokoknyah...
Rachma termasuk orang yang bosenan, dan gak sabaran, hehehe. Jadi, dengan sadar hati berikrar

"bosen ah sakit hati terus, bosen nangis terus,,, jadi dengan ini menyatakan: periode sakit hati ini harus berakhir, titik"

dengan sedikit doktrinasi: " I'm far too precious to get hurt "
I really mean it... and I did it...

yay, me

hueheheheh, happy to get back my living life... feel so light, enchanted.

Tibalah pada pertanyaan, rencana pulang ke Indonya gimana, sekali setahun... atau...?
Ngg... kalau rencana Rachma, bakal pulang kalau kangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen banget, so it could be anytime. Ta...pi, sebelum pergi, terjadilah suatu perjanjian dengan Mama Rachma:

Mama : tiket PP tuh kira-kira berapa?
Me : sekitar 1000 dollar [mungkin lebih]
Mama : sekitar berapa itu?
Me : ya tergantung kurs dollar rupiah. Ya sekitar 9 atau 10 juta.
Mama : 10 juta demi selembar tiket?? Kalau gitu gak usah pulang. Uangnya ditabung aja.
Me : [Mom.... How could that be....]. Kalau kangen ntar gimana... masa gak boleh pulang juga....
Mama : ya gak usah kangen aja. Kangennya ditahan. Mama aja dulu gak kangen-kangenan kalo pisah dari orang tua
Me : [sejauh-jauhnya Mama pisah dari mMih berapa mil sih... ]. Kok gitu sih Ma... lagian uang siapa coba, kan gaji Rachma juga, beli tiketnya gak pake uang Mama kok...
Mama : Iya, uang kamu. Tapi 10 juta itu uang yang gak kecil. Daripada dipake cuma buat ngelepas kangen, ya mending ditabung, dipakai beli ini beli itu, yang lebih manfaat daripada selembar tiket
Me : ... [I'm using my own money]
Mama : Kalau pulangnya buat nikah. Baru boleh.
Me : Maksud Mama?
Mama : Ya, kalau misalnya ntar kamu nelpon, bilang mau nikah, ntar kita di sini nyiapin segalanya. Baru kamu boleh pulang, ntar balik lagi ke Belanda.
Me : [so, there is additional visa to visit my own country. A husband???]
Mama : Mama pokoknya gak mau tau. Sebelum lulus PhD mesti dah nikah.
Me : [yadda... gimana cara???]. Ma, kan kita gak tau kapan ketemu jodoh. Kumaha sih Mama teh... heuuu... aneh-aneh wae
Mama : Ya, terserah kamu nyarinya gimana. Pokoknya dari Mama ya kaya gitu. Mama sama Papa cuma ngasi restu, ngasi izin, yang nyarinya ya kamu sendiri toh... Kenapa coba kemaren-kemaren gak mau dijodohin...
Me : [mulai deh mulai...]. Yah, liat nanti aja deh [I'm going anyway, I have the ticket already... ]

Dan sekarang, setelah nyampe di sini,,, lagi-lagi mencari inspirasi... biar tau mau ngapain...biar ada kerjaan. Bahasa kerennya adalah studi literatur. Well, yeah, emang penting sih yang namanya brainstorming itu... . Ngomong-ngomong, kenapa yak, frase inggrisnya adalah brainstorming... hmmm... gimana kalo ... braintornading [biar lebih dahsyat? ]

Alhamdulillah udah dapet pencerahan, setelah beberapa hari semedi depan komputer, baca jurnal satu-satu... kalo gi bosen, ya ujung-ujungnya browsing yang lain, hihihi.
Dengan berbagai hal yang lewat di pikiran, terlintas begitu saja, terjadi begitu saja....

But...there is a moment, I feel so happy. Ureshikatta.
dan itu terjadi ketika... pada suatu hari saat awal-awal nyampe ke sini, got a phone call, horeee...
Gak tau juga ya kenapa Rachma sebegitu girangnya hari itu. Mungkin karena ada temen ngobrol di sela-sela 'gak tau mu ngapain', karena tahun baru pun... di kamar aja menikmati jetlag... .

Bahkan ketika malemnya dapet nightmare, dan paginya dapet voip lagi. Hehehe, you called in a right time, in a perfect moment. Di sela-sela cemas gak jelas karena mimpi yang gak jelas, it felt most like the cure, the sweet one. Sangat membantu menenangkan hati.
Ya, untuk kerja optimal itu, sangat perlu ketenangan . Kalau tenang kan... para inspirasi itu tiba-tiba berdatangan.. cling...cling... datang dengan sendirinya, and sweetly say "hello, I'm coming. I'm here" .

Ngomong-ngomong dengan telpon, sebenernya Rachma agak parno ma telpon-telponan, takut yang disebrang telpon sana terpesona sama suara Rachma .

Huehehe, so mostly I deny to have a phone conversation.
kekekekek... percayaaaa aja

Talking about 'the cure'... tentunya ada suatu kebahagian tersendiri kalo kita bisa jadi obat untuk orang lain. Obat dalam artian... yah, sesuatu yang bisa bikin keadaan lebih baik :).
That will be really nice. And sweet .

Oya, di lab itu, topik yang sedang hangat adalah mengenai nama Rachma yang cuman satu suku kata . Kan mu publikasi tuh, di sini kan biasanya ada nama keluarga. Karena nama Rachma gak ada nama belakangnya, professornya bingung .
Mantan daily supervisor [mds] Rachma nanya:

mds: how should I write your name? Rachmawati Faturachman?
me: no..no, if you really need two names, just write my name twice.
mds: so it's Rachmawati Rachmawati?
me: ya ya, just write it like that
mds: okay, fine. To make sure I write your name correctly

Setelah selang beberapa hari, dia bilang lagi. Kebetulan waktu itu ada supervisor[spv] Rachma yang sekarang

mds: Rachma, my professor was asking about your name. what's this? why it has only one name. And I said, well ya, she has only one name.
me:
mds: You should add another name. Faturachman. Well, how about R.Rachmawati?
spv: What is R?
mds: Well ya. I mean... Rachma, is there any other Indonesian whose name is Rachmawati?
me: yes, there is.
mds: How do you know if it's you?
me: I just know it
mds: How will other people know if it's you?
spv: How do you know if there is no other M***** F****? [nama temen selab yang kebetulan ada di situ]
mds: Not like this one
me:
mds: There are at least two G***** d* S*** in Netherland [his own name]

and there it goes... nama satu kata yang dimiliki mungkin hanya orang Indo saja, jadi topik unik tersendiri. I don't mind with that, why should I change my name anyway. My name is Rachmawati. There is no other Rachmawati who is like me. I'm unique, everybody is .
Ntar kalau dibahas-bahas lagi, sekalian aja bilangin: Orang Indo dengan nama Rachmawati yang kerjaannya berkecimpung di kimia polimer baru Rachma aja kok, heheheheh. Dan begitulah, untuk official name yang perlu dua nama, biasanya Rachma tulis dua kali. Di surat kontrak rumah, kartu ABN AMRO, di asuransi AON, bahkan di email official universitas, tertera nama official Rachma jadi R. Rachmawati . Yeah, whatever.

Kalau dilihat sejarah... nggg... nama-nama jaman baheula emang cuman satu kata, nama-nama orang Arab jaman baheula juga gitu, cuman satu kata. Nabi dan Rasul juga, cuman satu nama. Siti Khadijah misalnya, namanya cuman satu ajah, siti itu kan bukan nama, melainkan panggilan, setara nyai, neng, nduk. But we know to whom each name refers to. Kalau kata temen selab dulu, budaya mencantumkan nama keluarga itu datang dari Inggris. Beruntunglah budaya itu gak mewabah .

Tapi mungkin harus dipertimbangkan ngasi nama yang unik buat anak, pleus jangan lupa nambahin nama 'keluarga' .


~ from this moment... ureshikatta, dakara ... ashita, kimi ni aitakute ... aitakute ~