Teach me how to live the life

I start to ask … what is the meaning of life?

I start to wonder, to whom my life is meaningful?

I start to guess… I need to experience more life

But, what kind of life it should be?

I used to think many things… keeping my mind busy

But lately, I feel so empty inside… that I refuse to think

I almost forget how to love someone

How to miss

And how to feel sad

‘Cause what I feel inside, everything is frozen

I smile, because I have to be friendly

I laugh, because I feel something should be laughed at

I care, because I think it is something should be taken care of

I do something, because I think I have to do it

And deep inside, I know…

That’s not life

That’s the art of pretending

People refuse to see the sadness, that’s what I notice

- including me, perhaps-

When I hear something bad, I know it is something to be sad at

But no tears came down

I just feel much emptier

I do wonder why I didn’t cry

Frankly saying, I start to find out…

I’m interested in nothing

Even stop hoping something

Is that what life should be?

It’s not, is it?

‘Cause I thought life would be more beautiful than that

More colorful, lively

Once I took courage,

To get close with love

It wasn’t too nice to find out

What a complicated world it has

It wasn’t too nice to know the truth

That one day I should ask, ‘please quit playing game with my heart’

It wasn’t a nice role

To act as if no scratch in my heart

I miss the time I laugh because I do feel happy

I miss the moment when I get excited into something

I miss... the 'living' me

God,,, please send me an angle